Social Skills

This week we are learning about what to do when our friends make us uncomfortable or hurt our feelings.

First we talked about different things that friends do that bother us. Things ranged from being bossy to not letting us choose what we play. The kids said that they don't usually tell their friends when they're upset because they worry that they won't want to be their friend anymore.

Next, I introduced the "I-statement". An I-statement is a way of explaining how a person feels and why, while keeping the focus on themselves. The general guideline goes like this:

I feel __________ when you __________. I need __________.

If someone was making fun of my boots, I'd say, "I feel hurt when you call my boots ugly. I need you to stop doing that."

The main idea of this is that the focus is initially on the upset person's feelings, not on the aggressor's actions. Also, it specifically labels the action that the upset person finds bothersome. Last, it explains what needs to change.

We've been practicing it whenever something comes up in the classroom, as well as in role-playing. The more it is reinforced, the more likely kids will use it on their own when the need arises!